“Hi Honey, I’m hom…”
“Don’t say it, I already know. Did you get the movie?”
“Yes, I did,” said Eddy, “I got some makeup, and wait ‘till you see the costumes.”
“You bought costumes?” asked Shane.
“No, of course not,” replied Eddy, “If I had money to spend on costumes, I would have bought our own candy.”
Shane looked at Eddy thoughtfully and then asked him, “So, where did the costumes come from?”
“I made them,” said Eddy.
“You made them?”
“Let me see them,” said Shane. He didn’t doubt that his clever boyfriend could make Halloween costumes, but he was excited to see them.
“Here’s yours,” said Eddy as he dived into a large plastic garbage bag and retrieved a T-shirt with torn sleeves and what looked like blood stains running down the front. “Here put this on.”
Shane stripped off his shirt and did as he was told. He had to admit that the tight form-fitting T-shirt was just what he needed for tonight’s fun.
“I tore up an old pair of jeans for you, complete with more blood.”
“What are you wearing, Eddy?”
Eddy pulled open another garbage bag and produced a doctor’s white, blood splattered coat.
“I went to the butcher shop and old man Schmidt gave me a bag of entrails that he didn’t want.”
For the next while they decorated, if decorated is the right word, their outfits with the entrails. Intestines dangled from the top of Shane’s jeans reaching down to his knees, which poked out of the holes that Eddy had ripped.
Eddy’s doctor coat had entrails hanging from his coat pockets with a swaying half-sliced liver stapled onto them.
Time was slipping by so they pulled out the makeup and smeared the stage blood all over their faces. They blackened some of their teeth and around their eyes.
They added wisps of fake hair to the back of their hands and took off their shoes and socks. They applied the white face paint to their faces making sure to leave their eyes surrounded by dark areas suggesting that their eyes either were bruised, or had fallen out.
They teased each other’s hair into straggly-knotted messes with chunks of leftover entrails trapped in the strands of their hair.
Then they added some long jagged fingernails to their fingers and dipped them in the stage blood, and did something similar to their toenails, making sure their feet were oozing with stage blood.
“We’re about ready,” said Shane.
“Not quite,” said Eddy, and he pulled another couple of bottles from his bag.
“Here, take these capsules, but don’t swallow them,” Eddy told Shane. “Let them dissolve in your mouth and they will foam up, making you look like you are frothing at the mouth.”
“What about you?” asked Shane.
“I’ll use these blood capsules,” said Eddy, “which will make me look like I’m bleeding from the mouth. I think we’re ready”
As if on cue, the doorbell rang and both of them Zombie-walked to the front door.
“Now hold your arms out in front of you and be a good Zombie,” said Eddy, and with that he opened the door.
There was a witch, a Batman, and two sheet covered ghosts, with a Spiderman trying to look dangerous.
“Trick or Treat?” the kids yelled.
With outstretched arms, Shane and Eddy shuffled towards the kids, making incoherent threatened sounds.
The poor kids’ eyes nearly popped out of their heads. They threw their bags at the Zombies, turned and ran screaming from them and didn’t stop until they reached the next block.
Shane picked up the bags the kids had thrown at them and held one open for Eddy.
“Candy?” asked Shane.
“Don’t mind if I do,” said Eddy with a ghoulish smirk, as he pushed the front door, but not quite closed. “We should be getting some more callers soon and we want to get as much candy as possible before we watch our movie.”
Eddy spat out the candy he had put into his mouth.
“Is something wrong with the candy?” asked Shane.
“Probably nothing,” said Eddy, “but it just tastes awful mixed with the capsules. We’ll need to rinse our mouths before we eat anymore.”
Shane and Eddy embraced and kissed each other, Eddy with blood running down from his mouth causing Shane’s frothing foam to turn red.
To a chorus of “Trick or Treat,” the door was pushed open by another group of Halloween kids; a pirate, a werewolf, a clown, and a ballerina.
“Holy Fuck,” shrieked the ballerina, “Kissing Zombies!”
In shock and horror, they threw their candy bags at them as they all raced away.
“Yes, more candy,” said Shane triumphantly punching the air, “and we haven’t even had to leave the house.”
“So, Shane, what’s it to be, a trick or a treat?”
“Either is good, with you,” smiled Shane seductively, shutting the door firmly, and turning off the porch light.