This is a work of gay fiction. While the locations are real, all characters and situations are imaginary. This story contains characters who earlier appeared in Donner and Blitzen, so the characters and story line will be more complete if you've read it first.
I watched Seth walk down the hall from the living room to the bedroom. He was wearing a T-shirt and boxer briefs that hugged his butt. The T-shirt was slowly falling back down around his waist, realigning its drape as he walked. It had been up around his arm pits from our make out session on the couch. God, he was sexy. I’d wanted to pull the T-shirt over his head, pull down his briefs and get it on. But it was Saturday morning, and we had a date to pick up Adrian at the foster home.
We’d taken our second cup of coffee into the living room, and settled down on the couch. I leaned back, nursing the warm cup in my hands as I watched his hips rise and fall. He always walked with a pronounced rise on each step, and he was still young and lithe enough that it was natural for him to move his weight from heel to the ball of his foot and onto his toes. That lift meant that with each step, the hip rose, too, and it was especially noticeable and attractive when he was in briefs. More so when he was naked. I felt myself smile with satisfaction and sheer pleasure. I was in a relationship again, and it was fun and exciting, and he was beautiful and thoughtful… and sexy!
It was New Year’s Day, and we’d had a pleasant at home celebration the evening before—the kind the pandemic forces you to have if you’re responsible. Within your own pod, or family, so there was a low risk of infection. We’d walked Adrian home after dinner and then came back for some champagne and New Year’s loving.
I thought back to Christmas Eve. It was only eight days ago, but what an eight days it had been. When we walked Adrian back to his foster home after opening presents at my house, Seth’s brother had been over-joyed as he held the leashes for Donner and Blitzen. They were wearing the stuffed deer antlers Adrian had chosen as the brothers’ Christmas gifts to me and the dogs. The dogs hadn’t resisted wearing them and appeared to understand it was cute and humorous. Finally, they looked a little bit like their namesakes, even if it was a goof.
At the foster home, Adrian insisted that the foster parents see the dogs with their antlers. They thought it was so cute, and it made Adrian’s evening. We said goodbye and wished everyone a Merry Christmas and started walking back to Seth’s apartment. That was when I told him that my brother the psychologist had confronted me about being in love. Seth had told me he loved me, and my brother pointedly asked if I’d told him how I felt. I told him I thought so, and he asked me if I’d told Seth. I had to confess to him that I hadn’t but later that night, right there on the sidewalk, I did. I told him I loved him and then told him I had another question. He looked at me and I asked him why I was walking him home to an empty apartment? That he could come home with me… that was what I really wanted. He later told me that was what he was hoping for, too. He’d smiled at me with those delectably soft lips, just a hint of coyness in his eyes as he had said, “I will if you make love to me.”
I told him he had to do the same and we headed for my house. We both knew full well that neither of us had made love to another person for a long time, to say nothing of not having been in a loving relationship for an even longer time. But he’d convinced me with his seriousness and excitement that we had a good chance to make this relationship work if we cared enough and committed to it, in spite of our age difference.
We’d turned out the house lights and then settled the dogs down on their beds, which were on the floor on the other side of my bedroom. Then I took him by the hand and led him to my bed. When he turned into my arms, I hugged him close and said softly into his ear, “I’m so glad you said yes. I do love you, even if it was so hard for me to get it out.”
He’d kissed my neck, hugging me back, and replied softly, “I understand. Don’t worry about it. I sent you a text with a heart. Your brother had to force your hand. We both have our hang ups, but we’ll work through them.”
“I meant it when I told you that I never thought I’d feel this way again.”
“I know the feeling, but here we are, and we do feel this way. So, why don’t we stop talking so you can kiss me and then tell me how we’re going to do this.”
I saw he was smiling softly as I leaned back to look at him in the soft light of the bedroom. “Oh, you’re going to get kissed, lover boy, you can count on that. Then I’m going to do what I’ve been dreaming about for a few weeks, and that’s slowly strip off all your clothes and see if I can’t kiss your entire body.”
“Oh, yeah! That sounds way sexy! You’ve got to promise not to go too fast, though. I want to undress you. I’ve been dreaming about what your body looks like, too, you know. I still haven’t seen your cock even though—“
I cut him off with my mouth on his, not needing to have him remind me of the time I’d choked about getting intimate. I pushed my tongue between his lips as I ran my hands up his back and into his hair. His body responded immediately. We’d both been waiting for this. By the time I had him down to his briefs and socks he was so hard he was straining in them and leaking.
“Pull them off, then it’s my turn,” he said in a kind of low growl.
I did and he stepped out of them, pulling his socks off with his toes at the same time, and stood before me naked for the first time. He was beautiful. He wasn’t cut or overdeveloped from lifting weights, but had enough mass on his slim torso to be balanced. Fit and balanced and beautiful. He almost seemed luminous in the soft light. “God, you’re gorgeous,” I said as I reached for him and stroked his chest, letting my hands slide down his flanks to his treasure trail, and come together holding his cock which stood up straight from a nicely trimmed bush of black hair. I started stroking it, loving the smooth feeling over its hardness.
“Slow down. You’re going too fast,” he said, as he reached for my shirt and started undoing the buttons. I hated to let go of his cock. It felt so full and hot in my hand, pulsing as his heart raced. But I relented and watched, and then shivered as he took each piece of clothing off of me, kissing and licking as he did so. By the time he got all my clothes off and he’d taken my cock in his hand I realized I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been so horny and excited.
I pulled him closer for another kiss, and felt him take both our cocks in his hand, stroking them together. It was magical, and I just groaned into his mouth. “So good, so amazingly good…”
He groaned back and growled something I didn’t understand, but which clearly meant that he was as aroused as I was. I could feel the head of my cock in his pubes and his in mine, and we seemed about the same size. That was a nice thought!
“Seth, this feels amazing, but I don’t want to cum like this. We’re making love to each other tonight. I want your cock in my mouth. I want you to feel every sensation and I want to taste you.”
He pulled back and grinned slyly. “Sounds like a sixty-nine to me.” We pulled each other up onto the bed, kissing as we lowered ourselves on the mattress. Then we clambered around to get into position, and I shuddered as he licked up the underside of my cock, pulled the head into his mouth and then began taking it all in. He wanted it, meaning he wanted me, as much as I wanted him, and I followed suit and what had been a slow and sensuous beginning suddenly turned into a flurry of stroking, licking and sucking as we both responded to the almost desperate need we had to satisfy our horniness for each other.
We didn’t cum together, but close enough, erupting in each other’s mouth with an ecstatic groan. Then, as we caught our breath, it was almost automatic and unthinking how we’d maneuvered around and were both lying in each other’s arms, our faces together on the pillows.
His blue eyes were bright and shining as he looked at me, so I leaned over and kissed his lips and then the tip of his nose, giving him a soft hug.
“Was that loving enough?”
The smile that crept onto his lips warmed my heart, and then he said, “Totally… for starters.”
I’d left him lounging on the couch after we’d almost stripped each other and gotten it on. We couldn’t this morning, though. We’d slept in a little on this Saturday and had to pick up Adrian in less than an hour, at ten o’clock. We’d had an amazing fun-filled week with lots of love and lots of sex, interspersed through the domestic routine of the week after Christmas.
I knew Wilt was thinking about sex as I walked away from him, and I was consciously trying to accentuate the sway of my hips because I knew how sexy he thought that was. As we broke apart and I said I’d shower first, he’d softly sighed and said, “A week ago we were waking up from the first time we made love.”
I kissed his forehead and said, “Sure were. It was total bliss!” And it certainly had been. We’d stripped each other, and then done an amazing sixty-nine that started slow and soft, but quickly became hot and desperate as we went after what we both wanted and needed so much.
We were laying back on the bed afterwards, when he’d asked if it had been loving enough. I knew he was partly kidding, but also concerned, so I passed on my usual witty reply like, “You’re kidding, right?”
Instead, I’d just looked at him and smiled and then said, “Totally… for starters.”
I saw his eyes widen just a little, and a warm smile move across his lips, and I added, “Loving enough for starters, but not loving enough to show you how much you mean to me.”
As I put my head on his shoulder and he pulled me close he said softly, “I like the sound of that.” I let my fingers do the talking, circling around his nipples, then stroking down his belly and into the brown pubes that were the same color as his hair. I took hold of his now softened cock that was lying on his thigh.
“You’ve got a beautiful cock. So hot and so smooth. It felt so good to go down on you, to taste you, to make you part of me.”
“Exactly how I felt,” he said softly into the top of my head. “We’re about the same size all over. That’s nice. Patrick was uncomfortably large.”
“I’m glad,” I replied, now stroking the base off his flaccid cock. “That should mean not just that we’ll be perfectly able to pleasure and satisfy each other, but that it should be easy.”
A sly smile slid across Wilt’s lips as he said, “Sounds like you’ve got plans. Tell me more.”
“I do have plans. I bet you do, too. Balance is important. We’re about the same height, but you’re a little heavier than I am. We’re both in good condition, so we’re fit and flexible. Now we know we have about the same size cocks, so we’ll fit together really well.”
I was still stroking the base of his cock, which was just starting to plump. Wilt hadn’t replied but I was pretty sure I knew what he was thinking about.
“We’re making this relationship what we want it to be, right?” I didn’t wait for an answer, but went on. “I want our sex to be joyful and equal and liberating. I’m not a bottom boy. I like to fuck and be fucked. Andrew had this thing about being dominant and he almost always insisted on me bottoming. It was a control thing, I think.”
“I already told you that Andrew was an ass. I won’t say that again because I’ve seen your ass and its beautiful, like you, and I won’t use the word that describes this beautiful part of you in the same sentence with his name. He was more like a douche bag, and he didn’t deserve you.” He reached down and stroked his hand over my buttocks to make the point.
“Well, it’s over now.”
“Yeah, but we’re both carrying our baggage. Patrick preferred to be a top. I guess a lot of that was how much older he was than me… you know, that generation kind of thing.”
“Yeah, but now we can make this how we want it to be.” I leaned down and sucked on one nipple, then the other, flicking at them with my tongue and teasing at each one with my teeth. I could feel Wilt hardening some more.
“I like the idea that we can define how we have sex. I think it’s wonderful that we both like to give and to receive.” I heard him chuckle into my hair as he said that, and could feel the vibration come through his chest.
“It’s like everything else in our relationship. We’ll make it what we want it to be… so it’s the best for both of us.” I leaned up on one elbow, not letting go of his cock with my other hand and bent to kiss him.
I looked him straight in the eyes. “I’m not really used to a partner that wants what’s best for me. That works to make me feel so good… so loved.”
Wilt grinned, a soft and warm grin that said he was happy with what he’d heard and agreed with it. “Like you said, we’ll make it what we want, and it’ll be equal. Both of us asking and giving.”
I stroked him some more as I kissed him, and then said softly into his mouth, “Now, I want you to give me the Christmas present I’ve been dreaming about for weeks. I want you inside me. I want to feel you fill me, and that’ll make it the best Christmas ever.”
I felt him gulp but I kept kissing him so he couldn’t talk, pushing my tongue into his mouth to meet his. He was growling something unintelligible, but his smile had widened to encompass his face and his eyes were glittering and I knew he agreed. And his cock was now hard and hot in my hand.
I pulled off his lips just long enough to say, “Lube?” He flicked his eyes at the bedside table and when I handed it to him, I said, “You’ll have to loosen me up. It’s been awhile.”
He was a patient and gentle lover, wanting to make sure that I was ready and to minimize the pain. Then I climbed up on his thighs stroking our cocks together for a minute. He groaned and I moved forward so I was straddling his hips, rubbing his cock in my crack.
“I want to see your face when you come inside me. I want to watch you make love to me. I want to see your face when you explode inside me.” As he pushed the head of his cock into me, there was once again that initial pain, but it passed, and the lube worked its magic. As he slid into me, I was glad I’d been stretching myself to prepare. Then he was over my prostate. I gasped in pleasure, and he stopped. He’d been watching my face the whole time, and I nodded and said, “More.”
His reply was simply, “So hot,” and then he slowly thrust all the way into me. I felt like the connection I’d been dreaming about had suddenly happened, and after a stroke or two that feeling was replaced by the pure sensations of his hot cock working my insides, making me feel so alive. I could see it on his face, too. He was still watching me, but his eyes were now a little glazed over as the sensations of sex overtook his body as well.
I didn’t expect us to cum together the first time, and we didn’t. I was out of practice and my legs were starting to ache from holding my body weight and moving on him, but after a few minutes I saw the expression on his face change from one of concentration to pure joy. I wasn’t far behind him, the heat building deep inside of me. I heard him getting close and I got to watch him cum, hearing his shout of ecstasy, and then feeling him shoot inside. It was everything I’d hoped for. Then, after he’d caught his breath, he did what Andrew never had done. Instead of pulling out and letting me jack myself off, he raised his knees so could rest my back against his thighs and said, “Lean back.” He stayed inside me, and he locked his eyes on mine, wet his hand with saliva, and started stroking me as he mouthed the words “I love you.”
Oh my god! I’d softened when I was riding him, but was instantly hard again with his moist hand stroking me and his semi-hard cock still inside me. Hearing him tell me he loved me on top of that added up to the most amazing thing I’d ever felt. A minute later, when I came, I threw my head back, arching backwards against his legs, shooting up onto his chest. I couldn’t remember cumming like that in my life. When I finally caught my breath and slid back down his thighs, he was softly stroking my cock with one hand and making swirls in the cum pooled on his belly with the fingers of the other. ”I don’t just like your cock,” he said softly with a devilish glint in his eyes, “I like your cum, too.” He scooped some up on his fingers and put it in his mouth, never taking his eyes from me. “I’ll never get tired of tasting you!”
I thought I understood something about what bliss was from my reading in college, but I’d just discovered I really had no idea. This physical experience happening with the love we shared was so far beyond the intellectual construct that I was completely at a loss for words.
When I’d relaxed and Wilt pulled out, I immediately crawled up next to him, and he pulled me into a tight hug while he whispered sweet nothings into my ear. I’d never been happier in my life. Ever.
I heard the shower turn off and then the razor buzz, and a couple of minutes later the closet doors open. I got up and headed down to take my own shower. He was naked in front of my closet, his arms spread with a hand on each door handle. The light was perfect, illuminating his body from the side, and he partially turned and glanced over his shoulder. His soft smile was framed by his beard. I slid my arms around his waist when I reached him, and pulled him back for a hug. His face came back against mine.
“You shaved and trimmed your beard. It feels so soft and sexy… you must have put conditioner in it.”
He giggled. “Sure did. I don’t want it scratchy when its rubbing on your body, especially when it’s down there between your thighs.”
“I loved the feeling between my thighs last night.”
“You were a high-performance guy last night, just in case I didn’t tell you.”
I tried to make light of it, but felt the tingling down there between my thighs. “I’ve got to get in the shower, or we’re going to be in trouble.”
“Well, late maybe… but never in trouble.”
“True enough, but as I’m learning, late is a big deal for Adrian.” I felt him nod and release my hug and then I turned for the bathroom.
I’d learned a lot about Adrian in the last week. I always closed my business for the week after Christmas, so my employees had a real holiday. It meant that the week before was really busy filling hospital orders, but it also let me go into the office alone, on my own schedule, to catch up on paperwork, start planning for the year ahead and do my personal yearend financial planning. The kinds of things that are so hard to make time for in a regular workday.
This week Seth was working his new job at the insurance agency so he couldn’t take days off, but he had been able to arrange to get off at four o’clock. I’d meet him at his office with the dogs, and then we’d walk to the foster home to pick up Adrian and go for a walk that ended up at my house where we had dinner together. The first day had been my first lesson on how literal people even with mild autism like Asperger’s can be. We’d told Adrian that we’d be walking from our offices and leaving at four o’clock and that should mean we’d be there at ten minutes after the hour. We were late leaving because of some customer call about an insurance policy.
Seth prepped me on the way. “We’re going to be late, and Adrian will be upset.”
He then explained how even though Adrian was considered to be high functioning, he still took many things literally, and time was one of them. “He understands a lot of things exactly how we say them, and time is one of those things. He will have filed away 4:10 and absolutely expect us to be there by then because we said we would. He understands it literally and sees it as a literal commitment that we broke, and he’ll be getting anxious.” He paused, then went on. “You’ve seen some of it already, like when he asks what time it is. He isn’t asking if it’s late or hinting that time has gone by. He’s literally asking what the time is and gets upset if he isn’t told. Remember?”
I did. We’d been playing Scrabble and that exact thing happened and Adrian got upset when I’d just said, ‘It’s still early,’ and he didn’t get the answer he’d expected. Seth calmed him down and told me later that he’d been having so much fun watching Adrian trash me at the game he hadn’t been paying attention. I learned something that time about Seth and his ability to anticipate his brother’s problems and needs.
When we got to the foster home Adrian was anxious, but not in a panic because the foster parents had known what to do. Seth started to try and calm him down, but it wasn’t necessary because as soon as he saw Donner and Blitzen, everything in Adrian’s world became perfect. He knelt down and hugged them both at the same time. They both licked the sides of his face, and he started giggling and then when he looked up, he was smiling brightly, and all the anxiety was gone.
I looked at Seth and then the foster parents, who said, “Those dogs are good for that boy.” I smiled and nodded, and then handed Adrian the leashes and said, “Let’s start our walk.” Over dinner we made clear that the new target time for the walk would be 4:15.
We played Uno after dinner, and explained the new arrival time to the foster parents when we walked Adrian home. Another new thing was happening. Adrian was not only touching and hugging the dogs, but he’d hugged me a couple of times and was now letting me touch and hug him. Seth had explained how many people with ASD were very difficult to get to know because they wouldn’t or couldn’t make eye contact or verbalize and didn’t like to be touched, and that applied to many with Asperger’s. Some were even very sensitive to noise.
Another factor in Adrian’s case was that he had been bullied until he was transferred to a special needs high school. Quite a bit of the bullying was physical and so he was suspicious of being touched until he felt he adequately knew a person. I hadn’t tried to initiate a hug, but on the Sunday after Christmas he’d hugged me when we dropped him off. Seth smiled at me on the walk home. “The trust switch just opened up.”
“I know, I was surprised.”
“It just happens. I think it’s the last few weeks, the dogs, the walks, then Christmas Eve… all of it together. He feels accepted and comfortable and you’re now on the list of people he trusts.”
“Is part of it because he knows we’re together?”
“Honestly, I don’t know. He’s really intelligent, and more clued in than you’d think. I have to think he knows something’s going on.” He grinned at me slyly.
I smiled back, happy the hug had happened, but also recognizing that it came with a responsibility to not only understand but also not to violate that trust.
The week had been like that. Yes, my office was closed, and Seth was working, but it felt like vacation. I’d only go in for a few hours a day, the dogs in tow, then go shopping and plan the dinners we’d cook together. Seth stayed with me every night. We’d walk home with the dogs after dropping Adrian off, settle them down, listen to some music or watch some TV, then go to bed… which was to say have sex.
Seth had made clear what he was looking for in a new sexual relationship, and I couldn’t argue with any of it. The idea of being open and accepting and asking was as liberating as it was exhilarating. We’d talked about it openly. About exploring new ways together, of being clean and ready for each other, of being able to ask and say what we wanted or needed, and being willing to do something even if it was new or challenging.
The second night he’d stayed with me we had further explored that approach. We were on our bed, naked and enjoying each other’s body. We were both hard and desirous and I thought I saw something in his eyes, some kind of desire or need. I might have been imagining it, but we’d committed to give each other as much pleasure as possible. I leaned forward and kissed him passionately and then whispered in his ear, “You know what I want tonight?”
His response was a kind of muffled, “whaaaaa?”
“I want you. I want you, in me.”
I heard something that sounded kind of like, “reaaaaaly?”
I had to fight back the chuckle, and said softly, “That’s our program. Giving each other pleasure. I told you that you have a beautiful cock, and I want that cock inside me.”
“God, yes,” he sighed.
We were both semi-hard, and I said, “Let’s start this way,” and swung around so we could do a sixty-nine. It had worked the night before and did again. Seth was fingering my pucker and I was careful to make sure we didn’t go too far. When I pulled off, he did too, and I handed him the lube.
He smiled at me, a soft glint in his eyes, and said simply, “Not yet,” and laid me down on the bed, spreading my legs. He laid down between them, licking the underside of my cock and sucking at my scrotum, and then he lifted my balls out of the way and licked my perineum. I literally shuddered. I’d never felt that, and when I looked down, he was watching me intently, gauging my reaction, and I saw a smile and that glint in his eyes.
“Oh, good! You like that.”
He dropped his head and licked a few more times. My eyes were closed, my head back, simply experiencing the sensations. Then I felt him lift my legs as his tongue went lower and danced around my hole. It felt like someone had thrown a switch as the sensations rippled outward and his tongue began to push in and then eventually dart in and out. I’d heard about sensory overload, but this was the first time I’d experienced it.
I writhed and wiggled as he used his tongue to pleasure me, and when after a couple of minutes he slowly stopped, and his head appeared from between my legs, there was a wry smile on his lips.
“Oh, my god, yes,” I wheezed.
I could see the glint in his eyes. “You’re nice and wet now, and maybe I don’t need the lube, but it’s been a while for you too, and I want no pain. I just want you overwhelmed with pleasure.”
I watched him squeeze some lube on his fingers and felt him slide in one and then two fingers, slowly moving in circles to open me up. His eyes never wavered, locked onto mine, and when he knew I was ready he wiggled his eyebrows, lifted my legs once more and pushed his cock against me.
I was kind of emotionally overwhelmed and looked at him pleadingly. The smile widened and he said softly, “Tell me if it hurts.”
I nodded and he began to enter me. The pain came and went in seconds and then he was in me. My new lover was inside me! We were one, and he was pleasuring me… acting like I was the most important thing in his world right now. I almost dissolved on the spot with that thought… and then all thoughts vaporized as his cock ran past my prostate, as he slowly slid all the way inside me… paused, and then slowly withdrew.
I could see his eyes widen, almost as if his pupils were dilating, and he sighed, “Oh my god, you feel so amazing. So tight and hot, and…” the sentence died as he pushed back in.
I shook my head and came back to the present as I showered, realizing that I was getting hard just from thinking about it. I turned the hot water down to cool the shower spray.
We had to be at the foster home on time at ten o’clock!
I’d been lying on Wilt’s bed while he took his shower. We both knew we were on a schedule and already almost running late, so good thing we weren’t showering together. After the last week there’s no way we’d have gotten out of there without deeply passionate wet sex.
I knew going into this week that I loved him, and he’d told me he loved me, but we were so far beyond that now, in a whole new way, that I wasn’t sure I could explain it to someone. I mean, yeah, we ‘loved’ each other. And we were having great sex, and we’d agreed our goal was to make the other as happy and satisfied as we could. But beyond that, we just seemed to fit, to work together. We enjoyed being together. What was that word my grandma used to use?
Compatible. That was it. We were compatible. The week of being together was something else, but a lot of how great it had been was just built on the everyday stuff we did. We’d get up and make coffee and breakfast. Shower and get ready for work—even if Wilt’s office was closed—then we’d walk to the office complex with the dogs. At lunch one of us would get takeout and eat in his office, then after work we’d walk to the foster home with the dogs to pick up Adrian. We’d all take a walk and then go on to Wilt’s house to prepare dinner that we all ate together, and then we’d walk him home. Just basic, everyday kind of things that we were doing together. Even last night, which had been New Year’s Eve was cool, even if domestic. With the pandemic we weren’t going to any party, but we’d gotten Adrian and walked the dogs followed by dinner and a game of Scrabble. Then a little goofing around with Adrian about New Year’s before we walked him home. When we got back, we settled the dogs and sipped a bottle of champagne while we talked about life and love. We didn’t make it till midnight, but we did have some good loving to celebrate the pending new year.
We fit together. It felt so good, I almost had to keep pinching myself. And part of that compatibility was that I loved his dogs and they loved me, while he gave all the indications that he loved Adrian and Adrian loved him. That was huge for me. I was all Adrian had left in the world, so it had to work with my partner, or it… it wouldn’t.
I glanced at the clock on the bedside table as I heard the shower turn off. Half an hour. We were good. Wilt would dress in ten, it would take five to organize Donner and Blitzen and get out the door, and we’d be there before ten o’clock, and no anxiety for Adrian.
We were walking hand in hand, and I had the leashes for the dogs because Wilt was checking his phone for messages or texts.
“Do we have any plans for tomorrow?”
“You have the phone in your hand,” I quipped, “what does your calendar say?”
He looked at me cross-eyed and smiled, and then said, “You know what I mean?”
“My brother invited us to their house for dinner. Meaning Sunday dinner in the early afternoon.”
“Oh…” I replied. “I guess the only thing is walking the dogs with Adrian.” My paranoia immediately went to the worst place—that they were inviting ‘us’ and that didn’t include Adrian. Once again Adrian would take second place to other plans.
“Seth, they’re inviting all of us, including Adrian. What do you think?”
I paused. This was new. It had taken a long time for him to settle into the foster home, and nothing like this had happened since our grandma died when I was in college, and he’d had to go into foster care.
“It’ll be a new thing, and there may be ‘moments,’ if you know what I mean. But if we make sure he understands that it’s your brother and his family it should be cool. Your brother’s a psychologist and he has to understand. Adrian trusts you. Can Donner and Blitzen come?”
“Good question? I wouldn’t have thought of that. Let me text Jordan.”
A minute later we had the answer, the dogs could come. I already really liked Jordan, and I’d never even met him. But Wilt told me that during the week he’d called and had a long conversation with him to understand more about Asperger’s and how it differed from autism. I was proud of him—yes, proud wasn’t too strong a word—proud that he took the initiative to learn more so he better understood what was what, and what to do or not to do.
When we talked about it later, he said Jordan had basically given him the clinical overview. That for over 70 years, doctors treated Asperger’s as its own diagnosis even though many believed Asperger’s was a milder form of autism, leading to the origin of the phrase “high-functioning.” Now, though, children with Asperger’s symptoms were diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. While severe ASD can manifest with extreme mental disabilities, patients with Asperger’s have symptoms that are typically on the milder side, but every child experiences symptoms differently.
I understood Wilt knew something about autism and Asperger’s, but I could tell he was relieved to learn that Adrian’s condition was on the milder end of the spectrum. We talked then about how the main outward characteristics of a person with Asperger’s syndrome are poor social skills, weak verbal communication skills, and being clumsy. What he told me really struck him, of all the things Jordan had explained to him, was that a person with Asperger’s doesn’t have a clinically significant cognitive delay. When I replied that I’d told him Adrian was smart, but I wasn’t sure what cognitive delay meant, he told me that it meant intellectual function wasn’t below the expected average for the person’s age.
“It’s usually applied to children,” he said Jordan had told him, ”and determining if there’s cognitive delay is part of how their condition is diagnosed. So, if Adrian didn’t have a significant cognitive delay, then he doesn’t have intellectual disabilities. In fact, he said that most children with Asperger’s have average or above-average intelligence. I didn’t know that.”
I smirked at him. “I told you he was really up there, and he had a memory like a trap. He’s trashed you at Scrabble and Uno, so I guess you’ve got firsthand experience to pair up with what Jordan told you.”
He grinned back at me, “I have, and I heard everything you said about your brother. I just had to understand it all my way, in my terminology. He’s just beginning to trust and accept me, and talk to me, so I’m just beginning to experience that side of him.”
I squeezed his hand. “I know he likes you.”
“Yeah, he told me. He said he likes you almost as much as he likes Donner and Blitzen!” I couldn’t hold back a small laugh.
Wilt squeezed my hand back and then said, “So, there’s hope for me yet?”
“Sure is,” I replied, and we walked up to the door of the foster home.
We had a great walk, even though it was raining on and off. The weather hadn’t turned cold, so it wasn’t uncomfortable, and the coolest part was now that Adrian had accepted Wilt as part of his circle of friends, Wilt felt he could ask him things. Like if he’d want to learn more about dog training and dog commands, and of course Adrian said, ‘yes.’ So, we spent part of the walk with Wilt explaining about voice commands and hand motions, starting out with simple things like Sit and Stay.
I noticed that Wilt was being very specific in what he explained to Adrian, and how he told him what to do and what to expect, leaving no room for interpretation or confusion—the kind of things that could make him anxious. Adrian got it about as fast as he picked up new words for Scrabble! The dogs loved it, too.
We had lunch at a Subway so we could eat outside under a canopy. Before we walked back to the foster home, we all sat down on a bench to talk and Wilt explained that he had a brother who was married and had two children who were eleven and twelve years old, and that they’d invited us all to go to their house the next day for Sunday dinner. You could see the little furrows of concern form on his forehead immediately, but then Wilt went on to explain how nice they all were, and then he asked Adrian a question.
“Can you guess where Donner and Blitzen got their names?”
Adrian frowned for a minute, then said, ”They’re Santa’s reindeer names, so from Santa Claus or Christmas.”
Wilt smiled at him and said, “You’re close. It did have to do with Christmas. Ray and Rachel are my brother’s kids, and I got the dogs around Christmas time. Ray and Rachel insisted they had to have Christmas names, and they chose Donner and Blitzen.”
His eyes widened. “Really? Then they’re neat kids!”
Wilt chuckled, and replied, “Yeah, they are. They love Donner and Blitzen, too. I think you’ll like them. Do you want to go? We’d all go together.”
“Will Donner and Blitzen go, too?”
“They sure will. They were invited as well.”
Adrian was smiling and nodding, and said, “Yes. We’ll all be going then, won’t we?”
I breathed a sigh of relief and when we got back to the foster home, we explained the plans for the next day to the foster parents. They thought it was a splendid idea because it expanded his socialization. “You have no idea how just attending the art class on Thursday evenings has helped, to say nothing about it improving his art abilities.”
We’d agreed with Jordan that after we had dinner with his family, we’d all take a short walk with the dogs. He fully understood the connection Adrian had with the dogs and how that could be a common bond for everyone, so a dog walk was part of the plans. That meant Seth and I were free to sleep in a little Sunday morning before we went for a run.
I woke lying on my back with Seth on his side next to me, his arm over my chest. His breathing was deep and peaceful, and I watched the arm with its light dusting of black hair rise and fall along with my breathing. The week had been wonderful, and last night had been blissful again, and while I was hopeful for a great outcome from dinner with Jordan and his family, Seth and I both knew it would be back to normal come the next morning.
I hadn’t said anything specific, not wanting to pressure him one way or the other, but I’d reconciled myself to the reality that it meant full days of work for both of us, Seth sleeping in his apartment except on the weekends, our time with Adrian limited to the walk to art class on Thursday evening and then dog walks on the weekend. It would be painful to go back to that, but those were the living arrangements we had in place, and we had to accept that we’d had a wondrous week together. Now we’d have to see where it went.
I heard him sigh and move slightly against my shoulder. Then he said slowly, “Are you awake?”
“Yes, love. Just for a minute or two.”
“I love it when you call me ‘love.’”
I picked up his arm and kissed the back of his hand. “Love you totally.”
“I know, believe me. Me, too.” He paused, then added, “What else were you thinking about?”
“That next week starts tomorrow, and things will be back to normal,” I said dejectedly. “I’ve decided I don’t like normal after what we’ve had this week.”
“I get it. I’m with you. I don’t want it to end, but life goes on, right?”
“It feels like it’s going to have to. But we’ll make the best of it because it’s not permanent, and we’re in love, and we’re making this relationship be what we want. Isn’t that the plan?”
I felt him move against me again, and his fingers swirl around on my chest. “Yep, that’s the plan. As far as I’m concerned, it’s working so far. Agreed?”
I turned off the negative thoughts about the coming week and said, “I sure do. Best week of my life so far.”
“I am.” I meant every bit of it, too.
“Me, too. And what you did to me last night was like the best sex I’ve ever had. I was kind of being a smart ass last month when I said you were a high-performance guy, but you know what? You are. Totally high-performance loving guy.” I felt his hand slide down the side of my chest and then he pulled me against him. “And you’re mine, and I’m the luckiest guy around!”
“I’m not going to argue with that, and I’ll second that emotion. That said, we’ve got to get up and get going. The boys are getting restless, and we’ve got stuff to do today, and it starts with a run.”
Adrian was ready to go when we got to the foster home, and Seth rode in the back seat with him. It was only twenty minutes to Jordan’s house, and he and his wife Kathy came out the front door to meet us. They knew the dogs and understood that we wanted to make the arrival as low stress for Adrian as possible.
I got out of the Explorer and could see Adrian was looking up the sidewalk at the house. I said to him, “Why don’t you come to the back with me, and you can take the leashes and walk the dogs up to the house?”
He was a little nervous, and didn’t smile, but nodded. Seth squeezed his arm, and he got out and followed me around to the rear door. As it went up, I said “Stay” and both dogs did, then I clipped the leashes on their collars and handed them to Adrian.
“You know what to do now.”
He flicked his eyes at me briefly, more for acknowledgment than confirmation, and then said, “Come.”
Both dogs hopped out of the Explorer and Seth said, “Hold them till Wilt locks the car.”
He did and I led off up the walk. I heard Seth say, “Okay, let’s go, Adrian,” and he in turn said, “Heel” to the dogs and our little procession walked up to meet Jordan and Kathy. They knew enough not to gush all over either Seth or Adrian, and when we got to the front stoop, I grinned at them and said, “Hi, you guys. I want you to meet Seth and his brother Adrian. In case you haven’t figured it out yet, Adrian is working on becoming one of the best dog handlers in Portland.”
It took a couple of seconds, but I heard Adrian giggle, so I turned to look at him.
“It’s true, isn’t it? I mean look how good you are with Donner and Blitzen.”
He paused, unsure what it all implied, but then gave a little smile and nodded. That took the edge off and Kathy softly said, “Hello, Adrian, I’m Kathy and I am very impressed with how you handle those two dogs. After the ride they’ve had in the car, why don’t we given them a quick walk down the block, and you can show me how you do it?”
Adrian looked at Seth for approval, he nodded, and the three of them headed down the street with Donner and Blitzen, chatting away like they’d been friends for years. So, the dog walk was happening before dinner. Who knew?
“Good move, bro. How’d you know how to do that?”
I looked at my brother and smiled. “I heard what you told me, I’ve been paying attention to what’s going on… and I asked myself what you would do in the same circumstance. Then it was easy to figure out. Do something to take the pressure off, and that’s almost always the dogs. So, I started teaching him basic dog handling stuff.”
He grinned at me and pulled me in for a hug. “Good thing Kathy’s a schoolteacher. She knew just how to make Adrian feel at ease. You’ve got a good-looking boyfriend there. I can’t wait to meet him.”
Our time with Jordan’s family and even over dinner went well overall. Ray and Rachel started out on best behavior, clearly having been primed not to be too noisy or questioning, but before we got to desert their give and take had intensified, even if in fun. I could see Adrian getting a little tense when Rachel tossed a couple of questions at him about school and then it peaked when Ray asked him about his art, how good he was, and if he could see it. Adrian looked to Seth for help, clearly a little distressed. Seth began to try and calm him down, but Kathy came to the rescue.
“Seth, why don’t you and your brother come help me with desert in the kitchen?” She looked at her two children and pointedly said, “You two stay here and behave.” Then she glanced at Jordan, a look passing between them.
When they were in the kitchen, Jordan turned to his children and said, “Do you two see what just happened? I explained to you that it takes time for Adrian to be able to trust new people and be comfortable with them. You’ve just pushed the envelope and made him very uncomfortable.” It took a minute to them to realize what had happened, but then they sheepishly apologized.
“You don’t need to apologize to me. You need to figure out how to apologize to Adrian.”
After dessert, Ray did just that. He told Adrian he was sorry if he made him upset and asked if he wanted to see his room. Adrian gave Seth a quick glance for approval, and Seth nodded right back and then Ray added, “You can bring the dogs. They always come down to my room.”
Half an hour later when we started to get organized to leave, I walked down to Ray’s room. They were playing Minecraft and the dogs were curled up at the foot of the bed asleep. They looked up and I asked casually, “Who’s winning?”
Ray looked at me with a pained expression. “Adrian says he doesn’t play much ‘cause they’ve only got one game console at the foster home, so I figured I’d be able to trash him. But we’re even. I thought I was pretty good and this’d be easy.” He looked at Adrian with a grin and said, “Oh, well, it’s probably not polite to beat new friends!”
Then he looked at me and said. “But your boyfriend’s brother learns fast. I’m going to have to do a bunch of practicing to stay ahead of him.”
Adrian shyly grinned and looked at me like he was kind of embarrassed. “Ray is good and gave me lots of hints.”
I grinned back and said, “You’re the man, Adrian. We’ve got to go home in thirty minutes, so why don’t you guys finish this game and then come down to the living room and we’ll get organized?”
We got Adrian back to the foster home on schedule, but it was the question he asked on the drive back that was the highlight of the day.
The dogs had laid down in the cargo area and Seth and Adrian were in the back seat. They’d talked about Adrian having a good time and meeting new people how happy he was that Ray had called him a friend, and how Ray had helped him get better at Minecraft. But then he had lapsed into silence. Adrian was staring straight ahead, out through the windshield. Then out of the blue he asked, “Seth, is Wilt your boyfriend now?”
In the rearview mirror I saw Seth’s head snap around. I was pretty sure they hadn’t talked about it in a lot of detail.
“Yeah, Adrian. Wilt is my boyfriend. How did you know?”
“Ray said he’s your boyfriend.”
“Really? Well, it’s true,” Seth said.
“I’ve been watching you guys. You guys love each other, huh?”
“We do. Is that okay with you?”
“Yeah, ‘cause love is good. I see you guys love each other. I didn’t see it with Andrew.”
I saw Seth kind of blanch and could tell he was at a loss for words. Finally, he choked out, “Thank you, Adrian. I thought I loved Andrew, but I was wrong. I really love Wilt, and he really loves me. You’re sure you’re okay with that?”
Adrian nodded, still looking ahead through the windshield, and then after a couple of seconds he said, “I love Wilt, too.”
We knew the dogs needed some more exercise when we got home, and it had started to rain. So, we changed clothes and took them out for another walk. We also talked about what had happened, and agreed that not just had Adrian done really well for his first time in a new situation with new people, but his level of observation or intuition had blown our minds.
“He never said anything bad about Andrew. I mean… I guess he never really said anything. But he was clued in, wasn’t he?”
I pulled him close to me. “I think we can say that in addition to being quite intelligent, he’s also more intuitive than he gets credit for. He figures out the emotional stuff on his own.”
“Yeah, I guess. Why would he have never said anything to me if he didn’t think Andrew and I loved each other?”
“I guess we could speculate that he didn’t think it was his place, but I think that would be imposing our social norms on him. We can ask Jordan, but my guess is just that he loves you as his brother, so he accepted the relationship you were in at face value. You weren’t being abused or anything, and Andrew wasn’t doing anything to him, so he just accepted it because it was you.” I paused, then went on, “I think another thing is that when you were in college you saw him infrequently and now that you live close by you see him frequently, but that’s different than being around him a lot. Now, I’m stretching here, but I’d guess that what he’s experienced with us and the dogs over the last couple of months, and especially all the time this last week, was acceptance and then the love we have... that he’s part of it.”
Seth squeezed my hand and pulled to stop us. When I looked at him, I could see his eyes were moist. “You do know what it means to me, to have you say that, don’t you?”
I pulled him into a hug. “I meant what I said, that I’d never felt like this before, the way I love you. And I’ve never felt love coming my way the way it does from you. Adrian’s in the mix, in our circle of love, and has to be able to pick up on that. I know the dogs can.”
It had been a totally upbeat and mind-blowing afternoon with Jordan’s brother and his family. I expected the kids to be kind of a pain and irritate Adrian, but there’d only been the one moment, and then Ray made it right. I don’t know if it was because of the dogs or because they were a psychologist’s kids. Either way, who cared—it worked.
Before we’d left, Wilt had gone down to Ray’s room to tell them to finish their game so we could get rolling, leaving me in the living room with Jordan. He asked about my college studies and the new job and if Wilt and I were getting along as well as it looked. He had a knowing smile on his face, and I knew he was giving me an opening.
“We are. I realized the other day that the word is one my grandma used. Compatible. We’re compatible even if he is older than me. Maybe that’s part of what makes it work.”
“Well, it sure looks healthy and happy from here. I want you to know that Wilt and I talk a lot. I’m not his therapist or anything, but you know… I’m a psychologist and I figured that part of my job was helping him out ‘cause he was a great older bro and helped me out a lot along the way. So, don’t assume he’s telling me confidential stuff or anything he shouldn’t when you hear we’ve been talking, alright?”
I could feel the slightest frown on my forehead, and felt a flash of paranoia. Was Wilt telling him everything about us? But then I realized Jordan was simply trying to resolve in advance any worries I might have.
“Well, I know you guys talk. He told me he called you a during the week to better understand Asperger’s. Anyway, you’re a professional, right?” I raised my eyebrows and smiled back at him. “I’m sure you wouldn’t violate confidentiality or anything.”
“You can count on that. He told me about the Coldplay lyrics you shared with him when he was still being resistant. That was very perceptive of you. I think it’s terrific that your position was one of re-framing your prior relationships to make a better future together. That was a pretty great line you dropped on him: Everybody gets their hearts ripped out; Got to keep dancing when the lights go out.”
“So, you’re good with us being together?” I tried to sound confident, not wanting to sound like a pleading teenager.
“I’m more than good. You’re a capable and mature young man. I’d say you had to grow up a lot faster than most people between losing your parents and being responsible for Adrian, and you appear to have managed it well. You’re also reasonably good looking. I mean good looking enough, but I don’t understand why Wilt continues to claim you’re so sexy.”
He smiled at me as he said it, and the smile turned into a grin, and I found myself grinning back. We’d established common ground and I felt like it was cool between us. We all said goodbye with hugs, and that included Adrian who didn’t seem to have a problem with it. He’d had a good time, they liked him, and then Adrian dropped the love bomb on us on the drive home.
He caught me by surprise, that was for sure. I couldn’t believe that he just came out and said what he did about Andrew and about loving Wilt. It made my day. But there was more. I mean Wilt had been very insightful about Adrian being more intuitive than we thought. Maybe I had missed that and like everyone else just assumed he wasn’t emotionally clued in. In the evening after we walked the dogs again and settled into kind of getting organized for the back-to-the-normal routine that would start the next day, Jordan called.
He wanted to talk to both of us, so we made it a FaceTime call and he started out telling us what a great afternoon it had been, how nice to meet me and Adrian, all of that. But he wasn’t faking it and he was sincere. At one point he looked at me and said, “Seth, I want to tell you something that Wilt’s going to hate hearing ‘cause I’m his little brother and all, but I think we need to get it out of the way early in our relationship. Kathy and I talked about it after you all left, and we both like you a lot. You’re a cool guy and you’re responsible and caring. On top of that, though, we’ve never seen my brother happier.”
He paused, and all I could get out was, “Yeah?” That must have sounded really stupid!
“Yeah, really! And I know I’m putting you on the spot, but we want you to know how we feel. You might think we’re hung up about the age difference, but we’re not. The kids liked you and Adrian a lot, too, and Kathy said to be sure and tell you that you’re ‘a keeper.’ You know what that is, don’t you?”
He was laughing softly, and when I glanced at Wilt, I could see he was embarrassed, but who cares. Does this mean that, somehow, we’re family now?
“Yeah, Jordan. I’m pretty sure I know what a keeper is. Strikes me like it’s right up there with quizzing your brother about if he’s in love with his boyfriend and if he’s told him or not?”
I tried to smile innocently at him, knowing my expression would be distorted over the FaceTime link.
“Touché, Seth. Good one. It’s all true. Wilt’s a wonderful person and he’s been a great older brother… even if he is a little slow in expressing how he feels.”
I could feel Wilt starting to squirm next to me. I was impressed he hadn’t said anything so far.
“So, Jordan, would it make you feel better if I assure you that he’s told me that he loves me and that this week he’s become extraordinarily adept at expressing himself in any number of ways, both emotional and physical?”
Jordan cracked up and Wilt hit me in the ribs softly with a fist. “Jesus, Seth. This is my little brother. Don’t tell him shit like that.”
We all ended up laughing and cutting up and then Jordan said, “Listen, there’s something else, something serious, I wanted to talk to you both about, too. Is that okay?”
We nodded, and he explained that when Wilt had called him during the week to talk about autism and Asperger’s he hadn’t wanted to do a total data dump, but help Wilt understand the big picture. He also wanted to limit what he said till he’d actually met Adrian and spent some time with him.
“What I want you both to know, and this is based just on my observation this afternoon, is that I talked to Wilt about how cognitive ability in childhood is used to determine if a child is developing normally or not, and then if not to help diagnose the condition. Are you with me?”
We both nodded, and Jordan went on. “So, here’s the detail. Setting aside the typical Asperger’s symptoms for a moment, assessing cognitive development has two components. One is intellectual functioning, namely the patient’s ability to learn, solve problems and understand the world. That’s often referred to as assessing IQ. We all know Adrian’s up there on the IQ scale, right?”
We nodded again and he continued.
“The second thing that’s assessed is adaptive functioning, and that’s a fancy term for determining the patient’s ability to develop skills needed to live independently. Now, like I said, I’m talking to you based on what Wilt’s told me and what I observed this afternoon during my time with Adrian. I don’t know if he’s been assessed for it, but my take is that he’s also reasonably high in the adaptive functioning category.”
We were quiet and then I slowly said, “What does that mean?”
“It means, if my read is correct, and he needs further assessment, that he has the capacity and skills to live independently. He’s going to be eighteen before long and that’s important because he doesn’t have to be in a foster home or group home or whatever for the rest of his life. He’ll probably always need a support network around him, but living independently is, I think, a real possibility. Okay, I’ve said my piece and didn’t mean to dump on you both. Thoughts?”
Wilt looked at me, his expression saying he didn’t have enough information to make an assessment or comment. It was on me.
“Wow, Jordan! I’ve known all along he was really smart, and I’m not sure the special needs school he goes to has figured that out or knows what to do with it. But he’s happier there, that’s for sure. He’s accepted for who he is and he’s not getting bullied and stuff. We lived with our grandma till I went to college, and then he was with her till she died. He got himself to school and back and he does that now with some of the other kids in the foster home. I don’t know if there was ever any kind of assessments of what you called adaptive functioning. I think I would have known about it if there was, and when grandma died and he was a minor and I was in college, the state just did what they thought was best and got him into a foster home, and it was after that he got moved into the special needs school. So, I don’t know what to say, really. Except that you’re a professional and maybe you’re seeing something, something important, that no one else had picked up on.”
Jordan gave us some time to process, like he probably did with a client in his office, then he said,
“Now listen, you guys. I didn’t call to dump on you or anything like that. But, Seth, you told me that Adrian’s seventeen, right?”
I nodded agreement.
“Alright, then. As you’ve already found out, Oregon has a very good foster care system, and clearly, he’s in a good home with good foster parents. Here’s the thing, though. For almost all foster children, the day they turn 18, foster care ends and they can suddenly on their own, responsible for finding a place to live, managing their money, their shopping, their clothing, their food and trying to continue their education. The fact is that it’s not just a shock to the child, but a lot of former foster kids have a hard time with all of these abrupt changes. They struggle to find a job, go to college or even find a place to sleep every night.”
I was silent again, then said, “I guess I knew it would only last while he was a minor, but I didn’t really think about what happens when he turns eighteen… I mean what really happens.”
“And I just told you guys,” Jordan replied, “that this call isn’t to dump on you or scare you. But the facts are the facts. When is Adrian’s birthday?”
“It’s the 10th of March.”
“That’s a little over two months away, and I’d guess the state would extend his time in foster care through the end of the school year. We have time to confirm that, and we have to start looking at the options and see where we go from here.” He paused and I was at a loss for words.
Wilt squeezed my hand and gave me a smile. “We’ll work it out, love. We will.”
I glanced at him and then back at Jordan. “I’m starting to feel really bad and embarrassed. How could I not have figured this out? I mean it’s like we’re driving toward a cliff, and I’ve been ignoring it or something?”
“Seth, it’s not uncommon. We all have to plan ahead in life, but he’s in a good situation now and it’s natural to assume or hope it will continue. Don’t beat yourself up about this. You’ve been very responsible in looking out for him so far. Just understand there’s a transition ahead, and you’ve got a team with you now and we’re here to help.”
Wilt’s hand was still on mine, and he gave it a soft squeeze. I was still feeling stupid and embarrassed, so I just nodded and said, “Okay.”
After a minute, Jordan said, “Alright. Let’s leave it there. Like I said, the plan wasn’t to just dump this on you, more like open a new line of inquiry, something new to consider. Don’t just dwell on what happens when he turns eighteen. Instead think about the other part, what this new phase of his life can become. If I’m right, then it may open up a whole new range of possibilities for Adrian. If you’re okay with it, I’d be happy to meet with him regularly and maybe arrange some assessment. Things like that.”
I was suddenly overwhelmed. I squeezed Wilt’s hand and said, “That’s more than okay. I mean, really… that’d be great.” I had to take a deep breath and swallow and then I managed to choke out, “You really care about my little brother, don’t you?”
It felt so stupid to even say it, but very few people so far had cared about Adrian. And now in addition to my new boyfriend and his two dogs, here was his brother. I felt the tears on my cheeks and Jordan softly said, “Let’s continue later, okay. Just think about what I told you guys. I’m not talking about making a big deal out of this and embarrassing Adrian. Just some basic assessment. And, yes, I do care about your brother. So do Kathy and Ray and Rachel. We care about him the same way Wilt does.”
Seth was pretty emotional when we ended the call with Jordan. I’d never seen him really flustered or deeply emotional, or at a loss for words. He naturally had a quick wit about him and never lacked for a response, but this was about the most important thing in his life and now associated with it was an implicit threat. He watched me close the call and set the phone down, and we were just looking at each other. I was hesitant to say anything in case he took it wrong.
He moved over closer to me on the couch, pulling us together into a tight hug. “Your brother is amazing,” he said softly into my chest.
I could feel his words reverberate. “He is pretty amazing,” I agreed. I could feel him hug me tighter and heard his breathing catch and realized he was working hard not to cry. So, I kissed the top of his head and hugged him back and just said, “It’s okay. Let it go.”
“Jordan said he likes Adrian as much as you do. Do you have any idea how afraid I’ve been that it would just be the scene with Andrew over and over? That no one would want to be with me other than for a hook up because I’ve got a brother with Asperger’s?” He was sobbing now.
“Yeah, I kinda do,” I said softly. “I can guess it’s part of why you’ve been alone so long after Andrew. If your boyfriend acts like he thinks your brother’s a leper or something, that’s got to leave some scars. You know I’ve got my scars, too.” I pushed his shoulder’s back a little and tipped his chin up. “I told you before that I know you and Adrian are a package deal. I love you, and I love your brother, too. I mean he’s cute and all, you know. With those blue eyes and black hair that make him look like a little you. I love him differently than you, but I do love him. You can go to the bank with that.”
His lips twitched and then he smiled that sweet soft smile he has, and he pulled his face into my neck. “You really are my high-performance guy, aren’t you?”
“If that’s what you need, that’s what I am. And, for the record, I’m pretty sure I need you just as much, too.”
We had dinner and talked about how it was different without Adrian, but agreed that Sunday dinner had worked out well as a transition for him to have supper at the foster home and get used to life going back to normal. Seth told me how happy he’d been to see Adrian accepted and to fit in with Jordan and Kathy’s family.
“You noticed how he was part of the conversation at dinner, right?”
Seth looked at me and smiled. “Yeah, that was awesome.”
“And you’ve noticed that as the week’s gone on he’s been more conversational here at dinner, too?”
“Yeah, I have. I could see he was accepting the whole scene, being more and more comfortable with it and stuff. You got him talking about school and his art classes. Usually, he only talks about stuff like that with me. But that was him here with us and Donner and Blitzen. Today it was brand new people in a brand new place and he still did really well… well except for that one moment.”
“Well, love, my brother may be onto something. I’m not going to be liking going back to the old routine any more than you will, but let’s see if we can figure out how to get Adrian to meet with Jordan and then see where it goes?”
He nodded and then we got up to do the dishes, and the rest of the evening was pretty subdued.
I woke up feeling pretty good on Monday, even if it was back to normal. We went through our usual morning routine, and then I carried my duffle bag when we walked to the office. Wilt said it was silly, that he’d drive me to the apartment at lunch or after work, but I told him ‘no.’ I wanted to be able to walk home after work, and he’d probably get tied up with something at lunch, after his business being closed for a week. The same went for after work. I could imagine lots of orders or whatever, and his running late and feeling bad… no, not going there.
I gave him a quick kiss outside the insurance agency and walked inside as he headed down to his building. It didn’t take long, and I was completely caught up in the day’s workload and not dwelling on Wilt. Clients wanting to review their coverage for the new year. Those who were retired with investments wanting to adjust their monthly withdrawal now that they knew their social security increase for the year. And that was without even thinking about new policies, and all the office management stuff I was supposed to slowly begin to be in charge of.
It slowed down a little after eleven and I sent Wilt a text.
< Been swamped over here all morning. Now it’s quiet - missing you. Can you break free for lunch? 😂 >
It was only a minute later.
< Can’t do it. You were right-too busy. Staff meeting at lunch. I’m hating life already. 😬 >
I’d predicted it, but I didn’t like getting the answer I knew I should have expected.
< Got it. No prob. I’ve thought once or twice about what you did to me last night. Over the moon! 😵 >
The evening had been subdued, but when we got to bed the passion came out at full throttle. We kissed like mad and then settled into a nice sixty-nine. I wasn’t even thinking about what was next or where it was going. It just felt so good to be making love to Wilt. After a minute he pulled off and said, “Stop. Let’s not cum this way.” I glanced up at him and he smiled and wiggled his eyebrows, and then arranged himself against the pillows, leaning against the headboard. He smiled seductively and wagged a beckoning finger at me. I clambered around and crawled up between his legs, taking hold of his hard cock. He sighed as I took it in my mouth, and I heard him say, “Easy, easy.”
When I looked up, he had the lube in his hand and said to me seductively, “Remember when you were rubbing your ass on my cock and made me cum in my pants.”
I grinned and wiggled my eyebrows. “It wasn’t all me. Seems like you were pretty into it.”
“Oh yeah, love, I was. And I’ve been thinking about how we start with that, and see if we can make it better.” I was all ears. He pulled me up toward him, and turned me around so I was leaning against his torso, his pulsing cock pressed in my low back. Then very gently he reached around and gave my cock a few long soft strokes, sending shock waves through me.
“Lift up,” he whispered in my ear, and when I did, I felt his slick fingers on my hole and then sliding in, lubing me. I suddenly realized what he wanted to do. “Can you hold up there for a minute,” he said softly?
I nodded and could feel he was lubing his cock, and then he carefully positioned himself against me. “Should be easy, but now you’re in control,” he said as he placed both hands under my thighs, taking some of my weight. The head of his cock was pushing against me, and I braced myself on his thighs as I consciously relaxed and settled down, feeling the pure pleasure of Wilt beginning to slide inside me.
“Oh, god... so good, so hot,” he sighed in my ear as the head of his cock pushed in. That was all I needed to hear, and I let myself go all the way down on him, feeling the pure ecstasy of his cock sliding over my prostate and all the way up into me. His hands were now stroking my sides and then my chest, tweaking my nipples as I started to move up and down on him. Our rhythm was slow and smooth, and the sensations became more and more intense.
I could see I hadn’t softened, but then I realized that what I wanted was all of Wilt deep inside of me, as far as possible. As I settled down wiggling my ass to take as much of him as I could, he thrust upwards, burying himself as deep in me as was possible. Just that feeling of him filling me was blowing my circuits, but then his lube-slicked hand took my cock and started seriously stroking me. I tried to lift again, but I couldn’t move. I was being overwhelmed by the combined sensations of Wilt’s cock thrust deep inside me and his hand working me. The sensations started to overwhelm me.
And then they did, because within a minute I exploded, arching back against him, squealing and groaning in pure delight as his hand kept stroking me. I literally felt like I was going to faint, and then I heard him say again, “Baby, you’re so hot, so goo…. Oh, god, I’m cumming, too.”
It was a crescendo for both of us, and I recalled it all as I blankly looked at the application for a new insurance policy and felt myself start to get hard in my pants.
I didn’t expect a reply ‘cause he was swamped, but a minute later my phone pinged.
< Is there an emoji for over the moon? I’m not sure? 🥴😵😳 >
I snapped out of my reverie with a grin. That had been a good response!
< Ha, ha. Talk later >
Then it hit me. I’d be alone tonight.
< Can we get together this evening? >
I was feeling pathetic as I typed it, but it was how I felt, so I hit send.
It was only seconds later.
< I’m not the only one not wanting to be alone after work? >
< You’ve got that right >
< Let’s walk the dogs then get sushi >
We talked about it as we ate, and decided that missing each other the way we did just meant we loved each other that much. I told him I was still going back to my apartment, as much as I hated the idea.
“So, have we agreed that we need at least one or two fixes a day, time when we’re with each other?” He had a friendly smirk on his face, and I knew he wasn’t being a wise ass.
“I felt pathetic when I sent you the text about getting together this evening. I can’t believe that I couldn’t even go twelve hours without being with you.”
“Nothing pathetic about it. If you hadn’t sent that text, I would have.”
He walked me to my apartment, kissed me goodnight outside on the sidewalk, and patted me on the ass as I turned to go inside.